This Is Great!

ESPN is reporting that Dodger closer Eric Gagne is going to serve a 2 game suspension for heckling the home plate umpire and getting ejected on April 6th. Thus extending his time out of the Dodger lineup for 2 days.

Or not...

He was suspended because when on the Disabled List, a player is not allowed to take part in any aspect of a game.

Obviously he did.

But guess what that means...

The Dodgers can simply activate him 2 days earlier than they want him in the lineup, thus serving his suspension while they were planning on keeping him on the DL anyway.

Totally legal, totally smart.

As long as DePodesta is as smart as the Fu2rman, and also thought of that.

From the looks of it so far, they haven't.

"It's bad for the team. We're going to be short-handed two days," said Gagne, who said he hasn't decided whether he will appeal the suspension.

Eric, there will be no appeal, just shut up and accept the suspension.

"It's just a situation we have to deal with," manager Jim Tracy said.

What situation?

There is no situation guys!

This one is a no-brainer.

NBA Playoffs

Another day of Playoff Basketball.

Miami took another game to go up 3-0.

Indiana picked up another game to take the series lead at 2-1.

This puts me back in great shape in this series.

Houston lost their first game to the Dallas Mav's.

Not a problem, I expected this series to go 6 games, so Dallas should win 2 games. This was the first, Houston will win the next, then lose only one more before closing out the Mav's.

The only concerns I have are that Washington and Sacramento must win their next games. They are both playing at home. As a matter of fact, they would really ease my mind if they won both of their 2 home games.

Still a slight concern, the Spurs would do well for themselves if they win the next 2. But they are playing in Denver, so even splitting the next 2 keeps them in great shape.

There's the days rundown.

NBA Playoffs

OK, now we are seeing things clear up a bit.

San Antonio looked good, Tim Duncan actually showed up tonight. SA beat Denver by 28. I'm lookin' good again.

Phoenix, like I said yesterday, beat Memphis to go up 2-0.

However, Chicago took down Washington, again.

So I stand, 4 of my picks are up 2-0, 2 are down 0-2, but both going home to play the next 2 games, and 2 are tied.

The Fu2rman is still looking pretty good.

NBA Playoffs

Not a bad start on my predictions.

Miami, Houston and Detroit are dominating their series' so far, all 2-0.

Phoenix is off to a 1-0 start. After tomorrow, I expect they will be 2-0.

Indiana evened things up with Boston at one apiece.

Chicago beat Washington, which surprised me, but it's only on game.

The bigger surprises are in San Antonio and Seattle.

I said Sacramento would beat Seattle, but they are in a 0-2 hole. This one isn't looking good for me. They are headed to Sacramento for the next two games, and Sac is tough to beat in Arco Arena. Seattle won the first meeting in Arco but lost the last one, as recently as April 5th, by 21 points. If the Kings can grab two games at home, I'll be looking good again. If Seattle wins one of the next two, I'd call it over.

As I said about San Antonio, Denver COULD upset them IF Tim Duncan is not at 100%.

He's not.

Duncan looked like he was wearing lead sneakers, he had no elevation and looked tired. In the fourth quarter he had seven shots, all within 8 feet and made none of them. They only lost by six, so this series is far from over.

So far it looks great for me in four of the series', two others I'm in good shape. I'm only looking bad in one series. Tomorrow will shed some light on the Denver/San Antonio series.

Not bad if I do say so myself.

Thank God It's A Long Season

After 20 games for most teams, and 19 for others, what a start.

Jeez, who would have thought the LA Dodgers, minus Gagne and Penny, would be 13-6.

13 wins is impressive. But the NL West is weak.

And The Orioles have 13 wins in the AL East, who'd have thought that?

Who'd have thought Brian Roberts would have led the O's to this great start?

Well, actually, ask my Dad how he got Roberts on his Fantasy team. The Fu2rman put him there! Yes, as the Commisioner, I noticed the Fu2rDAD missing a player, and a great prospect on the horizon. What I said was, 'Dad, I just helped you, I hope I didn't hurt me in the process, I should have picked up Roberts, and traded my 2nd baseman Mark Lorretta to you.'

Long freakin' story, really freakin' short, I'm not winning, my Dad is.

Who'd have thought some well intentioned nepotism would bite me in the ass?

Anyway, back to actuall sports.

13 wins is OK, but if your the Chicago White Sox, you laugh at these wanna-be's.

An impressive start in the first 20 is 16-4, the White Sox would say.

As I said, it's a long season, 162 games, so much will happen.

How about the richest, the greatest, and most expensive team in the entire history of the Major League?

The Yankees are---8-11

Holy-S!

The Boss is going to go freakin' crazy if this team doesn't win it all this year.

And I don't blame him.

He should be pissed!

I would love and hate to be Brian Cashman.

What a great job.

All the money you can spend, the best free agents money can buy, life is good.

But you better goddamn win.

If one more year goes by without a new Ring for The Boss,

Cashman is fired,

The Fu2rman is in!

I'll fix this mess...

Mr. Steinbrenner, call The Fu2rman, I'll fix things in the house, the house that Ruth built.

Sincerely,

The Fu2rman

Draft Day

The San Diego Chargers, of all people, sat in a great position.

They have a proven QB, Drew Brees, with a franchise QB in the wings, Phil Rivers, they have the best TE out there in Antonio Gates, he puts up WR numbers. They have an awesome RB in Ladanian Tomlinson, throw in WR's Keenan McCardell and a healthy Reche Caldwell, and then what?

The Chargers have the 12th and 28th pick in the draft, what do you do?

They already made the playoffs last year, they got dropped early, by a lucky NY Jets.

What do you do?

Take the best available players.

Both happen to be on the defensive side of the ball.

Defensive End Shawn Merriman, and Defensive Tackle Luis Castillo.

That's what you do.

I love The Chargers next season.

Michelle Wie

Someone dared to question The Fu2rman on being down on Michelle Wie.

Here's the skinny

Michelle Wie is a great 15 year old female golfer.

A kid that wants to play with the men.

What if she was a 15 year old boy?

What would she be then?

NOTHING!

If it was Michael Wie, he would be a nice story, but keep working, go to college, play on a good team--

Keep at it kiddo!

You might have a future.

Since we are talking about a girl, we suddenly have a phenom.

But not really

She hasn't even shown she can beat the best women golfers.

Women, if you want equality, here's a good place to start.

What you seem to want is selective equality, Wie has no business playing in PGA tournaments.

There are 15 year old boys out there that can play as well as Wie, but do they get sponsors exemptions?

No

How do the feminists feel about this?

I'm sure they won't say jack about it, not when it goes in their favor.

Eastern Conference Finals

My boy Bahb just made his early prediction. And as all early predictions go, he can change them as he sees the play of the teams involved.

He says Miami vs. Indiana in the Eastern Conferance Finals.

He says it is Shaq's year, with his jilted chick plan.

I couldn't agree more

Miami definately goes to the Conferance Finals, Shaq has to prove he is not the fat lazy bastard he was in LA, you know, the one that got him traded.

Indy still has a tough series against the Boston Celtics, which I think Indy will win, even though they lost game one.

But then they face a really tough Detroit Pistons.

You know, 'cause The Great Fu2rman said the Pistons will beat the Philly 76er's.

Then--

Detroit vs. Indy?

Detroit is such a sleeper, they are the Spurs of the East.

Boring, but effective, defense, defense, BLAH, BLAhh, blah, blaaah, bluuu...

I won't say the outcome just yet, but if it comes to Detroit vs. Indy, my early prediction is go with the Pistons.

Then, of course, they lose to Miami in the Conference Finals.

I'd say, with only seeing one of the 40 days of the playoffs, and only 4 games--

The Finals come down to Miami vs. Houston

Just speculation of course, but you know how that goes, I'm always right.

And In The East

Here we are again, playoff time. Now that the East is finalized, here is the fu2r.


Miami vs. New Jersey

Easy pick, even though the Nets have been hot, that's what got them passed Cleveland for the final spot, Miami Heat win this one. New Jersey should be able to pick up one game, but that's about it.

Detroit vs. Philadelphia

Detroit wins this one. The 76er's addition of Chris Webber kills them. He is a curse. Iverson is a scoring machine, but it won't mean much against such a potent defense.

Boston vs. Indiana

Here is my upset pick. Take Indiana here. This should be the best series in the east. Indy comes into this one sizzling hot. They just got Jermaine O'Neal back, Reggie Miller has almost doubled his scoring average after the second half of the season. Plus, I hate Boston teams, go Indy.

Chicago vs. Washington

This should be another great series. Unfortunately, The Bulls enter this without Eddy Curry, and Chandler says he will play, even with a sprained ankle. I gotta go with Washington here. It's just not The Bulls time yet. If they went in 100% healthy, Bulls would have won.

There you have it, the East....

Ready To Discuss The NBA Playoffs, Kinda...

By kinda, I mean I'm only going to get into the West right now. There are still some seeding questions in the East.

Let's start at the top.

Phoenix vs. Memphis

I'd love to see the Memphis Grizzlies win this, but they won't.

Even though the two teams are tied in their season series with two wins each, Memphis got cold down the stretch. They are 5-5 in the last 10 games, I almost thought they were going to blow it and let the T-wolves slip into the eighth spot. Phoenix just continues to look solid, they are 8-2 in the last 10, so they are not only the better team, but they have the momentum.

San Antonio vs. Denver

Again I want to see Denver win this, but I don't trust them to win a series against the Spurs. The season series is tied here, also 2-2, with Denver winning the last two meetings.

Momentum Denver?

Maybe not.

Both Spurs loses were without Tim Duncan on the floor, and one without Manu Ginobili. If Duncan is healthy, and playing at 100%, Spurs win, easy. If not, Nuggets have a shot, but I'm not going to say they win. They have not been very impressive in the last few games, they lost to Phoenix last night, badly, they lost to Houston on Saturday, badly, and just beat a horrible Portland, barely.

It pains me to say it, but take the Spurs in this one.

Seattle vs. Sacramento

Injuries play a big part in this as well. But I'm going to pick Sacramento here, even though the Sonics won the season series 3-1. Sac just beat Seattle on April 5th, by 21, plus I like the experience factor with the Kings.

There's the upset pick.

Dallas vs. Houston

How do you pick this one?

This is the series I'm most excited to see.

Dallas fires Don Nelson, and promotes Avery Johnson. I love that Avery has the Mav's playing defense, for the first time ever. Even though The Rockets won the last two meetings to tie the season series at two apiece, The Rockets have not faced this Mavericks team. Dallas is 9-1 in the last ten games, 5 of those wins were against playoff teams.

In the last six games, Houston has beaten Seattle, Memphis, the number one Phoenix, and they destroyed Denver on Saturday.

I like the Mav's, I want them to win, but I pick Houston to win the series.

I won't call that an upset pick, a five seed beating a four, is chicken, but you feel free to use that in your work pools. Sac over Seattle is the true upset pick.

There you go, there's the West winners--

Phoenix
San Antonio
Sacramento
Houston

When I'm right, here's what happens next-

Houston beats Phoenix, and SA beats Sac.

Miguel Batista vs. The Red Sox

Guess what just happened in Boston.

My choice for back-up Yankee closer, Toronto's Miguel Batista just picked up a save at Fenway Park.

I guess I don't have to say much more, I've said so much on this topic already.

Again, you heard it here first.

NBA Playoffs

In the East it's lookin' like--

Miami vs. New Jersey or Cleveland

It doesn't matter, Miami wins either way.

Detroit vs. Philadelphia

Boston vs. Indiana

The only issue here is that Indi could lose to Chicago, and Philly will beat Atlanta. We could see a rematch of the 'brawl' in Detroit and if Indi drops one spot, that's just what you'll have.

Chicago vs. Washington


And in the West--

Phoenix vs. Memphis

San Antonio vs. Denver

Seattle vs. Sacramento

Dallas vs. Houston

But no Lakers?

Stay tuned, and I'll tell you the fu2r of the NBA.

I've Had It With This Kid

Michelle Wie, that 15 year old girl golfer, has accepted a sponsors exemption to play in the John Deere classic.

Why?

This girl can't even beat women, what the hell is she doing playing with the men?

It is a ridiculous publicity stunt, stop it, stop offering these exemptions.

She won't make the cut, and even if she does, she just takes a spot away from someone that belongs there. Like possibly a young golfer, trying to earn his card.

How many times does Wie have to hear this?

Michelle, go beat some woman! Win at least one 'L'PGA tournament, and then come talk to me!!

The End Of An Era

Beginning in 2006 Monday Night Football will be on ESPN.

Yes, you better have cable or no MNF for you.

How many people does this really affect?

I don't know many people that don't have cable now, besides there are only about three good games all year.

Anonymous, You Wanted A Score Card?

How about that score card?

You can check my facts if you want.

I said The Clippers beat New Orleans.

They did.

I said The Clipps lose to Houston.

They did.

I said the Lakers lose to Dallas.

They did.

I said the Lakers drop a game to either Golden State or Portland.

They did.

I said The Clippers finish with a better record than The Lakers.

They did.

Any questions?

One thing I missed is that Kobe didn't fake an injury.

I'm OK missing that one, he has contract obligations that generate income, so the incentive is there to play.

Another miss may be the final standings.

I said-

Clipps 37-45
Lakers 35-47

Current standings.

Clipps 36-45
Lakers 34-47

Clipps should pick up one more win against New Orleans.
Lakers have no excuse for losing to Portland, but it wouldn't surprise me.

Go LA!, both of you, win one for the Fu2rman!

That would make me 6 for 6.

Or, worst case, 4 for 6.



I'll tell you what is going to happen in the playoffs once the matchups are set.

Until then,

The Fu2rman is un-freakin'-believable...

Steinbrenner's Pissed

And he should be!

His Yankees, $200 million payroll and all, are 4-8.

I saw an interesting fact on ESPN tonight.

The only other time the Yanks have had a start this bad was in 1977.

Remember how that season ended?

Yanks won the World Series.

Should Yankee fans worry? Should Yankee haters rejoice?

Not yet.

Anonymous said, blah blah blah

Anonymous said...

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

8:56 PM

Anonymous said...

anonymous said.........that's right bitch, he's healthy....and you beter believe it, I'm coming after you!

8:57 PM

These were comments in regard to 'The NBA Is Heating Up'.

As far as shutting the fuck up.

No

And the second comment. Let me ask, WTF are you talking about?

That's right bitch he's healthy...and I better believe it?

I can only guess that you are talking about Tim Duncan.

Fine whatever, I was saying I was going to reserve comment on the Spurs success until I know his true status, healthy or not healthy, 100% effective or 50%?

Get it?

Oh but wait! He's healthy! I beter believe it! Because some anonymous chucklehead in clownshoes said so!

Again, No

Now the last part is going to disappoint you, in advance, I'm sorry.

You're coming after me!

Sorry man, I like chicks, you won't be coming after me, before me or anywhere even remotely close to me!

Never going to happen, not that I have anything against gay people. Remember a couple months ago when we talked about Bahb's gay brother? More power to you, but you're barkin' up the wrong tree.

However, I gotta give you this, you sound like a polite lover. You were going to come after me, putting my pleasure ahead of yours. I bet your boyfriends really appreciate that.

Anonymous, here is some advice on leaving comments, make sense, be interesting, and stop hitting on straight guys.

It's Hard Being This Good

Not really, it comes naturally.

Lakers lost tonight at Staple Center to the Dallas Mavericks.

That sounds familiar, where have I heard that before?

Oh that's right, I told you all that two days ago, and again yesterday, just for those with the A.D.D.

Let's see, the score card that was requested, that's 2 for 2.

Not to mention the big prediction from December 5th.

Lakers are now 2 games behind the Clippers, if the Lakers lose one game, or the Clipps win one game, I'm right, as usual.

What can I say?

The NBA Is Heating Up!

Clippers beat New Orleans tonight, 94-89 at Staple Center.

Tonight's win puts The Clippers 1 and 1/2 games ahead of The Lakers.

Tomorrow The Lakers take over Staples, so they can lose to Dallas, and Kobe can fake an injury.



While we're on the NBA topic, what is the most impressive story?

The Bulls are sitting in 4th?

Gotta give props to my boy Bahb here, he was calling this as we watched the Finals last year, he was all, 'Chandler-Curry, Chandler-Curry, Chandler-Curry!'

He was right.

How about The Denver Nuggets?

What are they, 24-4 since the All-Star break? Talk about on fire.

Maybe it's Shaq going to Miami and making them an instant contender?

Nope! He's the biggest bitch in the league. He left the Lakers a big fat, lazy, always hurt, bastard. Now he's slimmed down, got himself in playing shape, for the first time in three years! Screw you Shaq!

Shaq, this is my middle finger- ..!. an original Fu2man emoticon, or however you spell that BS.

Kobe's Lakers collapse?

Wrong, I called that in early December.

Maybe it's The San Antonio Spurs All-Star getting hurt?

The most boring team in the NBA, (you know, fundamentally flawless). Tim Duncan goes down, and these guys don't stop winning. They won 4 out of their last 5, one game by only one point when they squeaked by LA, no not the Lakers, they beat them the week before. Go Clippers!

Fun little side note on the Spurs, unless anything weird happens in the next 2-3 games that remain, they will go in as the 2 seed, Nuggets will be the 7 seed, there's a first round matchup.

You a bettin' man!?

Let me make you some money, in that you won't lose any...

Don't Bet!

Two things...

One
George Karl has worked miracles with Denver, he knows how to shut down the strengths of opponents. One example is April 1st, when Denver destroyed The Spurs 102-84 at home.

That's right, The Spurs.

Two
George Karl always gets himself fired for not being able to get very far in the playoffs. Remember when the number 1, G Karl led, Super Sonics played the afterthought, get this, NUGGETS. If my memory serves me, that was '94. David drops Goliath.

How do you bet?

Nuggets do it again, or Karl stays true to form?

I'm not sayin'....

Not until I know how Duncan is doing. He has been re-activated, but how healthy is he???

You Shoulda Bet Clippers Dominate LA

Here is a comment, in case you didn't read it.

Anonymous said...

Hey Fu2man,

I'd like to see you keep a score card on yourself. Make your calls and then check off all the ones you got right. This way the rest of us can use your blog as research before we place our bets in Vegas.

First, how dare you. I am never wrong.

Second, you post anonymous? ya chicken.

I'm kidding

I'm not always right, just most of the time.

OK, the comment was in regard to the Clippers finishing with a better record than the Lakers.

I was saying I called it, now he wants to go to Vegas and profit from my brilliance in the realm of sports.

SON OF A......Why didn't I think of that!

Oh wait, I did, and so did Vegas, they call it a spread.

I can usually tell you who's going to win, but I don't watch the spread. I posted on this some time ago, some guy was pissed because one of my NFL playoff picks didn't beat the spread. I told him, tough shit, I never mentioned the freakin' spread, why weren't you paying attention?

Having said that, a good bet would have been based on this prediction from Dec. 5th '04.

2) LA Clippers finish with a better record than the LA Lakers. Sorry Kobe, you showed time and time again that you couldn't win without Shaq. Every time he was out hurt with his bad wittle piggy, your team lost.

I hear Vegas takes bets on anything.

As of today, Clippers are one game ahead of the Lakers, with only three games remaining.

Clipps play a really bad New Orleans team twice, once at home once on the road. They also play Houston in Houston, they lose that one.

Lakers play Dallas at home, lose, then in Golden State, and in Portland, they'll drop one of these.

I also predict Kobe has some BS injury, probably at home against Dallas, so he won't have to go on the road and finish this embarrassing season with his team.

Final Standings

Clippers 37-45
Lakers 35-47

Write it down, take a picture, I don't give a f#@%.....
--Thanks to the movie FRIDAY for such a great line

Stoking The Fires Of A Rivalry

I love this New York Boston rivalry.

Since it is finally a rivalry, and not a one-sided ass kicking like it had been for 86 years.

I was worried that the intensity would be diminished, most teams can't keep that killer instinct after winning a title.

That's why The Marlins didn't even make the World Series last year, or the Angels the year before, or the Diamondbacks before that, and the Yankees before...well actually the Yankees made four in a row, and won three of them.

Enter, the real Idiots. Not Johnny Damon and his clubhouse buddies, I'm talking Boston fans.

They are like the Beverly Hillbillies, but they have less of a clue how to be Champions than the Clampitts knew how to be high society people in Beverlee!

First they cheer Mariano Rivera, arguably the most dominant closer in the history of baseball.

That was enough to fire him up to get his first save against the Sox after blowing his first two, in Yankee stadium mind you.

Now tonight, going into the bottom of the eighth inning tied, the Sox gain a 6-5 lead with runners on 1st and 2nd. A Jason Varitek rip was rolling around the right field wall, and what do you see?

Every silly fan in the front row leaning out, arms extended over the wall.

Jeez, it was as bad as the Angels fan, in their one appearance in the World Series, that hit Reggie Sanders with a Thunder Stick on Garrett Anderson's 3-RBI double to right field.

So this Boston fan ends up smackin' Gary Sheffield in the mouth.

All I can say is that Boston has been able to beat the Yanks lately, they have been able to hit Rivera, and instead of being smart, they want to annoy the sleeping dog.

As a Yankee fan, this pleases me.

Back On Track

Mariano Rivera took the mound in Boston today to the sounds of thousands of cheering Sox fans.

I saw a banner that read, "We Need Some Runs, Put in Rivera!"

Well not today.

Today Rivera faced four batters, two routine grounders to 2nd, a line drive to 2nd, and he walked one.

His command was a little off and on. He looked like he was hitting his spots at first, but the walk shows that obviously he wasn't consistant.

Well Sox fans, you go ahead and cheer for Mariano, see how it worked out today?

Hmmm.....

I don't know, I'm just sayin', the Clipper's beat the Jazz tonight.

That puts the Lakers one game behind the Clippers in the standings.

Not that I called that or anything....

Fantasy Players

I know, Miguel Batista was not the best closer you could have picked up.

Or is he!

As I tried to tell you, he is a great pitcher to rotate around your starting staff.

If you have nobody pitching, put in Batista, as a starter, he is eligible in most leagues.

And if you simply put him in as your best closer, shut the hell up!

Did it really hurt you!

No.

Did you look like a stud prognosticator?

Yes!

And, The Fu2rman says.

"You're freakin' welcome!"

Don't say jack shit to me, he has 3 saves, and is leading the AL.

He is tied at 3 saves with CHW Shingo Takatsu, but Takatsu has an 11.57 ERA, and a 2.13 WHIP.

Compare that to Batista's, 3.86 ERA, and a 1.29 WHIP, and one Win.

One more thing, Shingo has pitched 2 1/3, Batista 4 2/3 innings.

In twice the innings, Batista has almost a third the ERA, almost half the WHIP, and 1 win, Shingo sucks, he's hittable, he gives up runs, he's a terrible closer, check the numbers.

If you picked up Batista on my suggestion, You Are Freakin' Welcome!

Go ahead, find me a better closer in the American League!

If you followed my advice and picked up Batista as a Starting Pitcher, just to rotate in when one of your starters was not pitching, today showed my brilliance.

I have Rivera, Lidge and Dotel.

Dotel is an Oakland A, his team was playing Batista's Jays.

Rivera and Lidge both have the day off.

I can play both against each other, even if Lidge and Rivera are playing, I could have 4 closers today, in a league that only allows 3.

Eligibility is a great tool.

All hail the King!

Where Are The Lakers Headed?

I went out to lunch with my Dad today.

We were discussing our happiness about the Lakers tanking this season, which is odd, because we both have loved the Lakers for as long as I can remember.

We also discussed my comment from my last post about LA missing Jerry West, and how Kobe is useless as a leader.

He brought up a point that West saw the writing on the wall and split for Memphis.

So that got me thinking, and I did a little research.

There are a few things to look at here.

First, West retired in late in 2000, he signed with the Grizzlies in April '02. He used the old, retirement wasn't what I expected, excuse. It took West a little more than one season to come back.

Second, knowing he still had the desire, the drive to run a team, why did he retire?

Great question.

Because West was a guy that was a part of the Lakers for four decades, from player, to executive, he always stayed loyal to players. With West at the helm, he paid himself and all the front office people less money, ensuring it was all about the players.

Let me restate that, Jerry West took less money to ensure he put a winning team on the floor.

Third, West has some success stories to talk about, he won A ring as a player, but SIX as an executive.

Then Jerry Buss' senility, or nepotism set in, and the Buss name started filling the front office jobs. Not to mention, Jeanie Buss and Phil Jackson started hittin' it, and Phil signs a big contract.

That went totally against the West philosophy.

Hence, the F#@% this place! I'm retired!

Now we have the Buss family running the show, who gave the team to Kobe, yuk, they have a shitty GM, that has no hope of a winning team for at least 2 years!

Here's how they are going to get out of this mess.

This pisses me off more than anything!

LA or New York will not be allowed to have such shitty teams in such major markets.

Watch the NBA fix the draft lottery...

The first pick in the NBA draft goes to....The New York Knicks!

Next year, substitute Lakers for Knicks.

I hope enough people see this bullshit, and let a great exec like West turn a bad expansion team into a winner.

As a Laker fan, here's what I see.

Nothing!

These chuckleheads do nothing for so many years to come. Jerry Buss dies at some point and his family drives the final stake in the Laker coffin.

The Lakers will be a great tradition destroyed; destroyed so Jerry's kids can have a freakin' job.

I don't mean those MS kids, I'm talking senility, alzheimer's, whatever is affecting Jerry Buss, giving his kids jobs.

He has made so many bad moves in the past few years, I have nothing more to say,

except...

Rest In Peace old man, you wrecked the only good LA team left.

So You Think The Lakers Collapsed?

Well they did, but that's not my point.

How about the Minnesota Timberwolves?

Kevin Garnett, Sam Cassell, Wally Szczerbiak and the almost homeless, Latrell Sprewell? Same team as last years contending T-wolves, how do you not make the playoffs this year?

Unless ex-Laker GM, Jerry West's Memphis Grizzlies totally fall apart, they will sit in the 8th seed in the West...

...and the T-Wolves will take the rest of the year off.

Do you think Sprewell's crap about renegotiating his contract because he couldn't feed his kids had anything to do with this?

Yeah Spre, have less kids, or stop feeding them those 'Platinum and Diamond Bling Flakes,' they're not good for you anyway.

I bet the Lakers will pick up his overpriced contract, oh wait, they're already out of cap room.

They passed on has-been Shaq, for has-been Brian Grant.

Sorry Spre, LA's not in the cards.

Jerry West, LA misses you!

Why Women Don't Belong In The Workplace

I'm at work tonight, and one of the silly little broads that works for me says,

"You guys are always talking fantasy baseball lately, it's driving me nuts!"

As her boss I have to be nice, and politically correct, and not create a hostile work environment, and blah blah blah!

So I get really serious, like I'm concerned, and say,

"You think it's inappropriate for us to talk about sports at work?"

"Well, no, but you guys keep talking about fantasy sports and it's just annoying"

"It's annoying? What does that mean?" I say.

"I don't know, I guess it's just that I don't get it, you guys are all just talking and we have no idea what you're talking about."

I ask, "Who is we?"

"Well, all the girls."

I say, "So let me get this straight, just to be crystal clear, you and the women here don't like us talking about fantasy sports because you don't understand it, and have no interest in it?"

"YES!, that's it, exactly!"

"OK" I add, "Here's the deal, I have no problem squashing all sports talk from the building. But if I do that, I also have to stop the shopping talk, because the men in the building don't have any interest in that. That means no more talking about cute purses, the great shoes you just found or any other non male thing."

"What? But that's just fun, just conversation....."

I interrupt, "NO NO, you're right, we shouldn't be able to talk about things that are just fun, just conversation."

"Ahh, you know, ahhhh, never mind, ahhhh, I was just ahhhh, sayin', I don't know, it was just ahhhhh a a a thought....."

She made no sense what-so-ever at this point.

I guess she doesn't like having the same standards placed on her, or her 'girls' in the building.

If her little policy would have been implemented, she would have been a pariah among her 'girls'.

What?!! We can't talk about shopping! And YOU did this!!

I truly believe this is one of those 'look at me damnit!' situations.

By that I mean, men did not pay proper attention to her.



Women have been working this double standard too long.

I want to be equal, but I want you to be chivalrous.

I want to be a fire woman making fire man money, but I can't carry a man out of a burning building, a man is going to have to do that!

Guess what?

There are things that women are naturally better at than men.

I say, great, teach me what you can, you're the expert.

But there are things that men are made to do also.

Please people, stop hating our differences, start celebrating them!

SON OF A...!

Is Boston just that good in the last inning?

Miguel Batista blew his first save of the season, against the Sox.

What're ya gonna do. Edgar Renteria steps up with his .130 batting average, he was more than due. So a two run single later, the Sox are up by one run, and Batista chalks up his first blown save.

His offense gave him some help in their half of the ninth to give him the win.

I think the only thing to do with the Sox is just get medieval on them, pile on as many runs as possible. Don't even give them a chance to get back in it.

Not that it matters this early in the season, but Toronto is the only team in the AL East over .500. Yanks, Orioles and the D-Rays are 3-3, the Sox, 2-4, ouch.

I'd love to see the Sox win only one game in all of their 3 game series, that would make my year!

Mariano Back On The Horse...Still No Batista vs. Sox

Mariano showed that blowing his first two save opportunities means little.

I don't know if this is true, I didn't think it was important enough to research.

Apparently someone put Mariano on eBay.

If this was a Yankee fan, shame on you!

If it was a Sox fan, that's pretty funny, one of the great jabs that makes a rivalry great.

Frankly, I wish I would have thought about that when Foulke was handed the loss in the second game, when he gave up the walk off homerun to Jeter.

Mr. Rivera showed how mentally tough he is by taking the mound in Yankee Stadium again today, and in 16 pitches, saved his first game of many this season. He gave up one hit and struck out one.

No worries, he's still one of the best closers out there.



In other news...


It looked like Toronto was actually heading into a save situation for Batista.

Toronto had a 6-5 lead in the 8th.

But then the Blue Jays opened it up on the Sox, doubling their score in one inning.

The Sox could do nothing more in the 9th. The Jays didn't even need their half of the 9th inning...

Game over 12-5, Toronto.

Still no trial run for Batista.

Again I say, maybe tomorrow...

Maybe Later

Like I said, I'm not going to hold my breath about Toronto taking a lead into the 9th.

I'm glad I didn't, because they lost by one run today.

I'd say tomorrow, which is later today as once again I'm up well after midnight, is a great chance to see Miguel Batista close against the Sox.

David Boomer Wells rolls into Toronto (pun intended) with his 8.31 ERA to face Roy Halladay and his 2.57 ERA.

I know, one game does not make a season, I shouldn't count on these ERA's being anywhere close to this at seasons end. They should both end up in the high 3's or low 4's.

Perfect! Toronto could take a small lead into the 9th.

I can't help it, I'm looking so forward to seeing Boston vs. Batista in a save situation.

Let me shift gears just a bit.

I had an email about Batista, I deleted it by mistake before I could respond. He can read the answer here instead.

The question was basically, so you think Miguel Batista is going to be one of the premier closers in the league? I have Rivera, should I drop him and get Batista?

Yikes! Hell F#@%ing No!

Let me clarify, Batista will never be a premier closer, you know he is playing in Toronto, right?

They only won 67 games all year last year.

Yankees won 101, Rivera saved 53.

If that ratio holds true, you can expect maybe 34 saves from Batista.

But you should pick him up.

That is, if your league will allow you to use him as a STARTING pitcher, which he was all year last year, except those few games he showed he could be a solid closer. Rotate him around your starting lineup, and you'll have an extra closer, picking up a save here, a save there.

You should ace the save category.

I am at the moment.

I have Lidge, Rivera, and Dotel, and as a starter, Batista.

Lidge and Batista each have two saves, the rest, none.

Dotel and Rivera are going to save more games than Batista even if he is on pace with Lidge.

Batista is one of those guys that has spent his career in the National League, except last year when he got mostly rocked as a starter. A few good innings, then not so good.

So there you have it.

Another Chance To See The Brilliance of The Fu2rman

The Sox are in Toronto tonight.

I only hope, it's a stretch I know, Toronto can take a lead into the 9th.

Then we can see Miguel Batista close against the Sox.

Good News About The Lakers

I would normally say I told you so! at this point about Kobe.

Ok, I can't help it, I freakin' told you so!

But Bahb has been dead on with Shaq.

I think I added enough to his point yesterday...The Shaq LA would have had, is not the guy playing in Miami.

After Kupchak screwed the pooch on the I'll do whatever it takes to keep Kobe BS, you remember, the one that made every team in the NBA know that Shaq had to be traded.

One would think, at least we got Odom, Butler and Grant.

Guess what?

Now you took on Grant's $29.6 million contract, you have no salary cap room to do a damn thing for two years!

Who can you trade to make some room?

Nobody else is going to be fool enough to take Grant.

Who else do you trade?

And for what?

At this point the Lakers shot themselves in the foot, they would have been better off keeping Shaq, fat and lazy, signing Tracy MacGrady, F#@% Kobe.

In two years, release Shaq, sign Yao Ming, and you have what the Rockets have right now.

A team good enough to beat the Lakers last night 114-100.

Kupchak is terrible without Jerry West, 10 out of 37 home games have not sold out.

You know how many home games you can get tickets to in Miami?

Yeah, good luck...

Lakers are screwed for two years, tickets are not in demand...

The good news,

cheap Laker tickets!

Hear what I'm sayin'?

I Hate To Sound Like Bahb...

The Lakers are officially out of the playoffs for the first time in 11 years.

The Heat are Conference Champs.

All I heard today on every sports show was how bad the Shaq trade was, one even asked "Was the Shaq trade the worst trade in sports history?"

Like I said, I hate to sound like Bahb, so I'll just link you to one of his posts.

The Shaq we are seeing today is not the Shaq that would have been in LA had the Lakers kept him.

LA would have had the same fat, lazy, toe excuse, game missing Shaq we saw last season.

Only one year fatter and lazier.

He lost something like 30 pounds to get in playing shape for the Heat, because that's what the Heat wanted. All of the sudden he's a humble team player?

Yeah Shaq, everyone in LA wanted you to be a fat bastard, yeah that's it.

Bahb I would love to tell you that you were right about Shaq, I hope you are in fact. I hope Shaq starts showing his true colors next year.

My point of the arguement we were having was not so much Shaq was worth the money, it was more about Kobe not being worth a damn. Great player, but not a leader, not someone you bet your franchise on.

This was a good prediction from Dec. 4th, 2004

2) LA Clippers finish with a better record than the LA Lakers. Sorry Kobe, you showed time and time again that you couldn't win without Shaq. Every time he was out hurt with his bad wittle piggy, your team lost.

Clippers 34-42 10th place
Lakers 33-41 11th place

Another Blown Save

Here we go again, today Mariano Rivera blew another save, giving up 4 runs, only one of them earned. He walked 3 including the leadoff man, and loaded the bases 3 times. After 2/3 of an inning, his day was done.

Guess what happened then?

Felix Rodriguez came in and struck out Mueller in 6 pitches. However, a passed ball resulted in the 5th run of the inning.

Rivera had a good chance of getting the save with bases loaded and one out, but an Alex Rodriguez error turned a routine double play into the tying run.

And then it was all down hill.

He walked the next batter to load the bases again, then gave up 2 runs on a Renteria single to left, and then walked another.

And that was it, after only 2/3 of an inning, he was on the bench.

Of course A-Rod will make that play 99 out of 100 times, but Rivera got himself in that bases loaded possition.


One more point for Brian Cashman.

You know you're going to have to face the Sox down the stretch, and they have Rivera's number.

How are you going to close them out? Rivera is great against evreyone except the Sox.

Since '01, Rivera has 26 blown saves, great numbers.

But, 10 of them are vs. the Sox!

You gotta get a plan.

Great Commercial

By great, I mean totally going to suck in dumb guys.

AXE Body spray

They show women with various things inprinted on their backs, the last of which is a No Smoking sign from an airplane bathroom, when a very under average looking guy follows her out, buttoning his shirt back up.

Guys, don't buy this product, your intelligence has just been insulted.

If you were not insulted, buy all the AXE body spray you can afford.

It will get you lei'd so much, you'd think you landed in Hawaii 2 or 3 times a day.

Officially Concerned

What have I been saying about Mariano Rivera?

Well today Rivera took the mound in the 9th with one run lead, and gave up a homerun to Jason Varitek.

His first save opportunity and his first blown save.

Thankfully, Derek Jeter led off the bottom of the 9th with a walk off homerun. Odd that this was his first regular season walk off of his career. There was that one in the 10th inning of game 4 in the '01 World Series, to tie Arizona at 2 games each.

Mariano got the win today, after giving up 2 hits, one earned run and struck out 2.

In all fairness, Rivera will be more affective against teams other than the Red Sox.

Most teams will only face Rivera maybe 5 times a year, but the Sox saw him probably 20 times last year, including the post season.

Rivera doesn't have an arsenal of pitches, he has his cutter, and that's about it. As great as it is, if you get to see it enough times, your gonna learn to hit it.

What if I'm wrong about this? Which is more than unlikely. What if Rivera is just losin' it?

What is Brian Cashman's contingency plan?

Tom Gordon as a closer? Please.

Felix Rodriguez?

With Felix at least he has been a National Leaguer his whole career, so the majority of American League hitters haven't seen him before. I would recommend Joe Torre get him in the game tomorrow to see what he can do against the Sox.

Mariano is my favorite baseball player, but even I would have been looking for a backup closer in the off season.

Mariano blew 3 saves in the post season last year, that should have been a clue.



On a another note, on March 14th, I mentioned Miguel Batista. He was slated to be the #3 starter for Toronto, but was moved to closer after last years 5 saves out of 5 chances to end last season. Well Batista has had 2 save opportunities already, and was successful in both. I would love to see how he does against the Sox, but I won't hold my breath that he'll even get in the game. What are the chances of Toronto taking a lead into the 9th inning against Boston, slim and none?

Cashman, The Fu2rman is watching you....

Opening Day of Yankee Season

One of the hardest things to do in any sport is to repeat a championship season.

The Red Sox are about to learn that.

The Marlins couldn't do it, the Angels couldn't do it, the Diamondbacks couldn't do it, come to think of it, the only team in the last 10 years that has done that are the Yankees.

Oh, but the Yanks won 3 in a row, plus one other, just not back to back.

But that's another story.

I don't have to explain to anyone that the Yanks were one game away from repeating as the American League Champs last year when the Red Sox made a miracle comeback...so I won't.

Tonight was great!

Baseball season is open, Yanks and Sox, what could be better?

I'll tell you what, Randy Johnson in pinstripes, and I'm not talking those purple or aqua or whatever the hell the Diamondbacks stripes are, I'm talkin' Yankee pinstripes.

On the hill for the Sox, the ex-Yankee, David 'Boomer' Wells, (to be accurate, the twice ex-Yankee, he was around for some good times...'97 & '98, and again in '02 & '03. The Yanks made one World Series appearance each time Wells played with them, won 1, and lost 1).

Boomer's first start for the Sox?...not so impressive, but look at the line up he was facing, yikes!

Johnson had a great game, but he didn't look like the dominant 'Big Unit' of old.

The Sox didn't have many problems hitting him.

Kevin Millar would have taken him deep for a 2 run shot, had it not been for Hideki Matsui robbing him with a spectacular, glove over the wall, thank you very much...now take a seat!...grab, in the 3rd inning.

Ortiz hit him hard to right field, and was able to lumber his big ass into a sliding double. He scored soon after.

But then RJ settled in...

RJ gave up 1 run, 5 hits, walked 2, while striking out 6, and ultimately got the win.

Hey RJ, nice change from last year in Arizona?...real pinstripes, your offense put up 9 runs for you, and you don't even have to go to the plate.

Have a great year in the Big Apple, Big Unit!




On another note, Mr. Cashman, any plan if Mariano Rivera is not effective, or god forbid, gets hurt?

Right now, your best relievers are older than me, and I'm not a young guy. You better have some tricks up your sleeve.

Tom Gordon is not a closer.

It's getting to that time in Rivera's career that you better have a plan. You have the money, so excuses are unacceptable.