Jerry Maguire Has Gone Insane

Jerry Maguire?

Yeah, I know, it's hardly sports, but seriously, when did Tom Cruise go insane?

Cruise had a nice chat with Matt Lauer on the Today Show.

He mentioned the fact that Psychiatry was a 'psuedo-science', there was the the thing about Cruise explaining to Lauer, 'here's the problem, you don't know the history of psychiatry, I do!'

OK Dr. Cruise, do tell...

He has said there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance.

Tom, you may want to rethink that, how else are you explain your idiotic outbursts!

Seriously, I wish these freakin' socially retarted actors and rockstars would shut the hell up and stay in their little lands of make-believe, and stay out of politics, psychiatry, and whatever other liberal bull-shit they'd like to impose on regular people.

I'm sick of the Sean Penn's and Johnny Depp's, and their ridiculous USA bashing, and now Tom Cruise, jeez!

Do they not realize that they live a multi-million dollar life that 99.9% of the world can't even relate to? And ironically enough, that other .1% of us are the ones that put them there.

Please follow me on this one people, don't support anything that will put money in this chuckleheads pocket!

No more Top Gun rentals, no more Mission Impossible, 1 or 2, no Rainman, no Cocktail, and most importantly, NO War of the Worlds!

Let this movie tank!

Allow me one question, is anyone else suspicious that Cruise (43 next week), has become engaged to Katie Holmes (26), and does the release of Cruises' War of the Worlds, and Holmes' Batman raise any eyebrows?

The funny thing about this, (and I'm going to bring it back to sport here), is that Tom Cruise fired his agent. He didn't like his handlers telling him what to do, so his sister is managing his career, 'cause she lets him do and say whatever he wants.

He doesn't have a sane person to keep him out of trouble.

There is another Star that fired his agent recently.

LeBron James fired Aaron Goodwin, you know, the guy that negotiated $135 million in ensorsements. He hired a high school teammate Maverick Carter, and has looked at turning over some of his management duties to Def Jam Records.

Not very smart.

Rap artist's agents haven't proven themselves to be capable of keeping their stars out of trouble, or even prison in some cases.

Now that Goodwin has laid the groundwork, his career should be pretty easy to manage, however, LeBron will have to go to New York or Los Angeles in '07.

Would you rather have Maverick negotiate that for you, (and I'm not talkin' Tom Cruises' Maverick), or Aaron Goodwin?

If I didn't live in reality, I'd say Maverick, 'cause he was the Top Gun, and Iceman was just a wanna-be!, but from a business stand-point, please, give me Goodwin.

Oh well, he'll have Phil Jackson to deal with, Mitch Kupchak will be long gone by then.

Oh Yeah

Hey all,

Sorry I missed 2 out of the 15 series in the NBA post-season.

Can anyone else top that?

Not if you work for ESPN, TNT, or FOX SPORTS.

Hmmm.

I'm thinking job openings...

Not really, being right all the time just gets you shunned by the networks, they need some kind of drama...I would end all that, and just tell the world who's going to win.

Next year I may just miss a few more picks to add to the drama, maybe then the networks will give me a job.

Oh the burden of being so good....

I Am The King

The Pistons fought hard, but unfortunately they were doomed on June 8th.

That would be the day that I picked The Spurs to win the NBA Finals.

Go ahead, all hail The King, The Fu2rman!

There was some talk among friends about Tim Duncan wearing Laker colors...

I don't think so, and here's why.

The Spurs have Duncan signed through 2010, and Ginobili and Parker signed through 2011.

That will make Duncan and Ginobili 34, and Parker 29 at the end of their contracts.

They have cap room to build a team around them. They are only a middle of the road spender, so this team would need a Mitch Kupchak to screw that up.

Again, I am the KING!

It Comes To This

The Spurs/Detroit game is they about to start, they are reading the starting lineups as I type.

Have you noticed how everyone has flip-flopped, back-and-forth, and back again?

Well, not The Fu2rman, I'm still Spurs all the way.

Go Spurs!

For the record, after 14 series, I've picked 12 right.

Will it be 13 of 15?

More On Phil & Kobe

Bahb brought up some great points.

I really liked Kobe's reason for not taking Phil's meeting.

He said that if Phil didn't take the job, he didn't want to be blamed for it, so he would stay out of it.

That would have been a great idea last year, kid.

I still think it was Kobe that drove Rudy T out. Why else would he leave so quickly? Some trumped up health story?

I say, because Kobe wouldn't let him coach, and Rudy wasn't getting any support from the front office, AKA the Buss Family.

Once Rudy walked, and The Clippers were officially the best team in LA, Kobe was out of the decision-making process.

As for the Kobe trade.

Next year the Lakers have zero salary cap room.

Nobody is going to take Brian Grant, or Vlade Divac, they're too old.

What would you get for LaMar Odom right now? Not much. Although I would keep him anyway, I think he has very good upside potential that Phil can bring out.

You could try to trade some of the others, Caron Butler, Chucky Atkins, Chris Mihm or Luke Walton, but again, what are you going to get for them?

It would pretty much come down to trading 1 for 1. So you gain nothing.

The only way to free up enough cap room is to trade Kobe.

That would free up a lot of money to pick up at least 2 very good players. It's not going to get you a Duncan, Garnett or LeBron, but there are plenty of others that would love to play for Phil that are more affordable.

Wait until next year when Grant's contract is up, and that frees you up to get a marquis player.

Yao Ming will be available that year, plus you have a year to assess if you even want Ming.

I could be wrong here, but I think Divac's contract is also up that year, so more money freed up.

By the way, did you here Kupchak's comment about Vlade? He said when they signed him, he was one of the top 4 centers in the NBA.

What planet is Kupchak from?

So we're talking Tim Duncan, Shaq, Yao Ming, and then Vlade freakin' Divac?

I don't think so!

You could have a Chris Mihm as your Center if you have a Nowitzki, or Amare Stoudemire or either Wallace as a Forward/Center.

I'd even take Marcus Camby, Zyndrunas Ilgauskas or even Mehmet Okor over Divac. Seriously, if you called him a top 10, maybe you could get away with it, but top 4, please!

Sorry about the side-track.

The only way the Lakers are going to be able to afford any talent to improve the team is to trade Kobe.

What will be interesting is this, how will Phil Jackson will do as a personel guy?

There are 3 types of people in sports...

1) Players
2) Coaches
3) Personel People (GM's)

Great players usually don't make good coaches, great coaches usually don't make good personel guys.

Of course there are exceptions, but how about Magic Johnson as a coach? The last time the Lakers didn't make the playoffs was Coach Magic's Lakers.

Soon Phil will get to show if he really is The Zen Master.

Well, exept for the fact that he was never a great player.

Kevin Mc"Tyson's"Bride

Guys, here's the whole truth.

Kevin McBride will never again make as much money as he made to fight Tyson.

Especially since Tyson burned him sooooo bad.

I am paraphrasing here but it was something like this,

Tyson: "That's it, I'm done fighting. If I can't beat a guy like this, no offense Kevin, I can't compete with real fighters".

You see, McBride is trying to piss Tyson off by calling him a homo nipple-bitter.

He's trying to coax him into a rematch.

McBride wants to get paid. And he'll never do that fighting anyone but Tyson. He just wants one more big payday from a Tyson fight.

And how can you blame him.

Who's going to pay to see him fight....ummmm.........I can't even think of another name that he would even fight.

Boxing has nothing going for it right now.

People are going to keep paying to watch the "Tyson Train Wreck" for years to come.

It won't ever matter if he is good, or if he can compete for the title, people just want to see the spectacle that is Mike Tyson.

Phil, Are You Out Of Your Mind?!

Remember this?

So why does Phil Jackson want to coach LA again?

Here's the plan.

Phil wanted to be head coach and GM, now is his chance.

Mitch Kupchak is useless.

Seriously, what has he ever done?

Besides put them at the salary cap for next year, lock in contracts that are not tradable, and screw them for next year.

Actually, he did put a really shitty team together this past year and gave them a couple good draft picks.

The Buss family just gave the team to Phil Jackson.

Just watch, I know you've been listening, I'm always right.

Kupchak just doesn't know it yet...but he just been replaced.

If you have MK's email, you might send this to him.

He's not so bright, someone let him know, it's time to work on his resume.

NBA Finals

Is it going to be an easier series than anyone expected?

Will the Pistons even win one game?

Well, if they don't win tonight, any fu2r wins will be meaningless, they cannont win 4 straight against the Spurs. And I don't want to hear any, 'what about the Red Sox crap'.

I must admit, I'm even a little surprised that the Spurs are up 2-0.

I thought for sure the Pistons would win game one. It usually takes game 1 to get your rhythm back after an 8 day layoff like the Spurs had.

It only took them about half a quarter.

They've played 8 quarters of basketball, the Pistons outscored the Spurs in the 1st, but since then have only managed to tie them in the 3rd quarter of the 2nd game. Otherwise, it's been all Spurs.

I thought game 1's 15 point win was a blowout, (by Finals standards, C'mon, these are the best 2 teams in the league, right!), but Sunday's 21 point win was just too easy for the Spurs.

We shall see what tonight brings, I really hope the Pistons show up tonight.

Of course I want to be right and see the Spurs win, but please, entertain me along the way.

Pistons-Spurs

I guess The Spurs are off to a pretty good start.

While everyone was talking about the Pistons defense, this, and the Pistons defense that, nobody was mentioning the Spurs defense.

They were the number ranked 1 defense this year.

I was actually expecting the Pistons to win game one.

The Spurs were off for 8 days, usually it takes a game to get back in the rythm of the playoffs. The Pistons were in a groove, even after a very rollercoaster series with the Heat.

The first quarter was evidence of that, it looked like the Pistons were going to be too much for the Spurs. Then the Spurs went into half-time down only 2 points. Aside from the first quarter, the Spurs outscored the Pistons in every quarter.

So I should be really excited and start telling you how great I am, right?

Not yet.

My only concern is that the Spurs may get complacent, let their guard down, and allow the Pistons to get back in this series.

After all, they held the Pistons to 69 points, and beat them easily by 15.

A loss would actually be good for the Spurs, unless they can keep the same intensity they had in the second half of Thursday's game. They outscored the Pistons 49-32 in the second half.

I still don't think a win or two by the Pistons are going to make a difference in the long run, the Spurs should win this series.

And, like I already said, they will...

Maybe Not Zack

I've been talking about The Yankees picking up Kansas City starting pitcher Zack Greinke.

Well tonight I watched the slaughter that was Greinke vs. The Arizona Diamond Backs, I'm sure you can tell where this is going.

My boy Zack gave up 15 hits and 11 runs in just 4 1/3 innings!

That's just shy of a 23 ERA, and a WHIP of 3.926.

Ouch...

At least ex Dodger Shawn Green had a good night, he went 3 for 4 with a pair of Homeruns, 5 RBI's and a double, (all off Greinke). Green hadn't hit a Homerun in over a month.

Zack tried to help himself with a Homerun of his own, a solo shot in the fifth.

Not bad, maybe the Yankees are not the place for you, maybe a National League team where you can make use of that bat!

Zack has been solid up until this start. Not perfect, but he has quite a few quality starts, and even beat the Yankees in his last start. He went into this game with a 4.91 era, but this should put him over 6.00.

Greinke next start is either against The Dodgers and Derek Lowe, or The Astros and Roger Clemens. For Zack's sake, I hope he get the Astros, they never put runs on the board with Clemens pitching.

I mean geez, Clemens has a 1.667 ERA and is 4-3.

How do not go insane giving up less that 2 runs per start and you are barely over .500. Not only that, he has 12 starts so he only figured into 7 decissions.

The Astros offense Sucks.

I think I'd have a decent chance to win a game against Clemens, so Zack has a great chance. I hope he gets that matchup instead of LA.

Good luck Zack...

NBA Finals

I'll keep this kinda brief.

Spurs win the Finals.

Here's why...

Even though everyone keeps talking about the Pistons defense, do you know how had the number 1 rated defense this year?

The Spurs.

The Pistons have some offensive threats, but I'll stick with Duncan, Ginobili, and Parker.

The Spurs have had a full week to rest, at home, since they have home court advantage.

Add The Spurs bench, with the Robert Horry factor.

Series goes to The Spurs.

How Good Am I?

Unlike the other supossed sports experts, I stuck with my Pistons pick.

When eveyone else was jumping ship, and changing horses mid-stream and jumping on the Heat bandwagon and whatever other cliches you can think of, The Great Fu2rman held strong with the Pistons.

Not that I wasn't a little worried, not that I wasn't concerned that the Pistons would be able to win a game in Miami, but I always stay with my original pick.

Good thing too...

Because...

The Pistons finally did it, they beat The Heat in Miami.

Game 7 and the Eastern Finals go to The Pistons.

So I was right, again, but this shouldn't suprise anyone, it doesn't suprise me.

What does that put me at for the NBA Playoff picks?

12 out 14?

Yeah, 12 out of 14, that's pretty good right?

Stay tuned and I'll tell you who wins it all.

Time to celebrate my genious.

I'm peace 'n out...

Still Alive

Tonight the Pistons totally decimated the Heat, 91-66.

66?

Ouch!

Yeah, yeah, I know, Dwayne Wade sat this one out.

And, like the whole series, the Pistons continued showing up every other game.

I have a big question...

A strained rib muscle is going to keep Wade out of a game of this magnitude?

This is the post-season, you better be really hurt if your not going to suit-up.

Is this injury worse than we are being told?

Is he going to be effective at all on Monday?

Was this a ploy, let Wade rest this one, we'll just give up this game and win it at home in game 7?

Whatever the case, my reputation rests on the Pistons actually playing 2 games in a row.

Well, maybe not my entire reputation, but you know what I mean...

At Least The NBA Can Make Me Happy...

Well kinda.

The Pistons only seem to want to play every other game.

That ain't gonna fly boys, you gotta win 2 in-a-row now.

At least I haven't lost that series yet, and unlike so many of the talking heads on all our favorite sports shows, I'm not John Kerrying the series.

You know, by picking the 'Pistons' but only after I picked the 'Heat' first!

No no, not The Fu2rman, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

I can be that way, 'cause it doesn't happen very often.

Like for instance, in the first round of the playoffs, 6 of 8.

Not great, but respectable to say the least.

Second round, 4 of 4.

That was nice.

Round three, so far, 1 of 1. With one to go, and I'm still in it, not looking great, but still in.

So far this year, 11 of 13.

I was just looking at TBS to see what Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, Magic Johnson and anybody else had predicted, and I can't find a damn thing.

Why do you think that is?

They are not 11 of 13, that's why!

However, Steve Kerr at Yahoo! seems to always keep his picks up, and he's 12 of 13.

OK, even I'm impressed.

Yankee Shopping List

Since I mentioned Zack Greinke, let me elaborate.

He just got his first win of the season against the Yanks. Why do I keep this guy on my fantasy team if it took him this long to get his first win?

He is only 21, he has a 4.23 ERA, 1.26 WHIP and a .255 batting avg. against.

These don't sound like great numbers, but check this out...

In his last 10 starts he has one complete game, (that he lost after giving up only 3 runs), 2 no-decissions after giving up only 1 earned run, another no-decission after giving up no runs!

It goes on, he had 2 rough outings where he gave up 5 and 6 earned runs, and 2 others that he gave up 4.

See the potential here?

Put my boy Zack with Yankee pitching coach Mel Stottlemyre, and life is good.

Think about it, next year at this time, Greinke will be 22, and ready to take on the world...or The World Series...

I've already mentioned shopping for a new closer.

The Yanks must sign and start grooming a closer. I threw out a couple names before, I'll say again, Yhency Brazoban from the Dodgers, and Brandon Lyon from the Diamondbacks. Lyon is on the DL at the moment, but had a great start, so Brazoban is the better choice.

However, will the Dodgers part with him? Probably not, so assess Lyons health, and go from there. Both are ready to assume a set-up role on a team like the Yankees.

You'd think Orioles 2nd baseman Brian Roberts would be at the top of the list.

Of course he is, but what are the chances The O's are going to let him go?

Zero and none.

Let's leave it at that for the moment.

I don't want to give Brian Cashman all the answers!

How F#<%ed-Up Is This!

The GD Yankees are back at .500 tonight!

So let's assess, the Bombers got swept by the worst team in baseball, (Kansas City), their pitching is so weak that they cannot win a game unless they score more than 3 runs, (they are 0-19 in such games), and best of all, they are on a 6 game losing streak.

No! I'm sorry, BEST of all, is that they are sitting comfortably in 4th freakin' place in the AL East.

Yankee fans can take some solice in the fact that the Yanks are still only 5 games out of 1st place, and even after dropping 2 of 3 to Boston, they only trail the Sox by 3 games.

One good thing came out of the KC series. One of my fantasy pitchers, Zack Greinke, picked up his first win of the season. Why do I mention that? If Cashman is smart, which he basically is, he'll make a deal for Greinke by the trade deadline. He may not save this season, but he is a stellar long term prospect.

Still, Brian Cashman has to be working on his resume right now...

...And, so am I.

I'll send that right over Mr. Steinbrenner.

Ain't This A Bitch?

San Francisco 49'er public relations director, Kirk Reynolds, made a great video for the team.

His intention was to show the 49'er players just how easy it would be for the media to twist their comments. So be careful about the topics you address, the words you use etc.

Great advice, but he had a funny way of illustrating the point...

Center Jeremy Newberry, who had surgery on his knee Tuesday, said Reynolds was misunderstood.

"He was just trying to show people's biases and how stupid people can be," Newberry said.

Reynolds opens the film sitting behind the mayor's desk, then goes to Chinatown, where a 49ers team consultant uses racial slurs about the Chinese community. Next comes a topless, lesbian wedding filmed at a strip club and officiated by Reynolds, again impersonating the mayor.

"I know the courts say we can't do this," Reynolds says before the happy couple engages in heavy petting. "We make our own rules here in San Francisco."

Come on! 'We make our own rules here,' That's funny!

Remember the Mayor breaking the law on the same sex marriage thing?

The film goes on...

Reynolds then goes to SBC Park, where acting as "mayor" he throws out the opening pitch, then takes a bribe from the catcher, who thanks him for supporting "hookers and booze."

What's wrong with that?

Personally, I'm offended that people are suggesting hookers and booze should not be supported!

The film ends...

"You do something controversial, you say something controversial, it will have an impact on this team. So remember, be mindful of your actions," Reynolds says, wearing only a towel before joining three topless blondes for a group hug in a strip club's dressing room.

Ok, aside from ending the video with that visual, the message is great.

Of course, like the article suggested, the video itself was a perfect example of the message it is trying to convey, would that be irony?

It's Been A Few Days

Yeah, probably because I've been trying to digest the freakin' crow I ate.

These Yankee's are killing me.

Cashman will be fired by years end no matter what.

The Yanks just lost 2 of 3 to Boston, and as I'm writing this, they are in the 9th, down 5-2 against Kansas City.

Normally I'd just say 'you can't win every game'

But they lost the entire freakin' KC series! 0-3!! To Kansas freakin' City!!!

I can't talk about the Yankees anymore today.