Australian Open.

I know, tennis is a gay country club sport, but so is golf!

So, whatever!

Serena and Sharapova went off tonight!

What a great match.

Are men still playing tennis professionally?

I know, Aggasi is, but he's 100 years old, and he's competetive?

How the hell does that happen?

If you are a Tennis fan, which I'm not, don't watch the men, they suck!

If they were men, they'd play a sport.

But the women! They freakin' rock!

Serena and Sharapova, that was a match!


Remember when womens tennis was wannabe model, Anna Kornekova getting crushed by the Williams sisters?

What a sad state!

I had to play tennis in high school, I used to take pleasure in beating the kids that were actually on the tennis team. But I was a Baseball player, you know, a sport, not a recreation!

It was fun, but whatever!

My crappy high school team, that sucked, you know, 'cause I could beat all of them, still would not be able to carry Serena or Maria's raquets!

But I would love to! This is the future of Tennis!

Serena and Maria Sharapova!

Watch, actually, don't watch, just listen....

It sounds like your favorite porn film, lots of grunts and groans!

A message to the stupid men...you can actully get naked with your wife, turn on 'tennis' and get AROUSED by your bad driving SUV wife, and, actually, just listen to Sharapova and Williams!

Close your eyes, open your mind, and you will find yourself in a fun little S&M Fantasy!

Oh, by the way! So will your wife....

.....and tell her I said "Hi!"